‘Daily Quark’ campaign for warmer weather succeeds

The ‘Daily Quark’ campaign for warmer weather has succeeded. Temperatures are soaring into double figures as our quarktastic campaign sends the cold fronts packing. Gordon Brown, UK Prime Minister, said yesterday: ‘I fully support the Daily Quark’s inspired campaign to stop cold weather coming into this country. And I will continue to do so as long as there is any chance of such support delivering me votes. Brrr.’

Without the ‘Daily Quark’ campaign, Britain would have suffered early morning frosts as early as October, icicles would have appeared on the noses of any goblins who happened to be in the area and glove sales would be up again for the second year running. Thanks to the ‘Daily Quark’, foreign cold fronts have been banished from our shores, and Britain has been kept for British weather. [See page two of your warmfrontderful ‘Daily Quark’ for our new campaign to stop the sea coming in]